This started out as a Facebook post, but as I started to write, I felt it was important enough to have as a blog post. Earlier this week my friend Besty Weubker had a Facebook post regarding critics saying some of us (myself included) are “too positive” and had a link to a blog post on how to Silence the Haters. I found the comments on the post interesting; some people saying that those of us that are “too positive” are living with our heads in the sand and cannot be so positive all the time, to others who are like me CHOOSE to focus on the positive. One of the comments struck me as ironic:
“What I dislike about people who are 100% positive is that it seems unrealistic and out of tune with life. I have seen it be an aspect of a lot of denial in a person’s personality, too. I much prefer optimism over total positivity.”
Why is BEING positive unrealistic and out of tune with life? Life is what we MAKE of it. And what is the difference between optimism and total positivity anyway? Aren’t they pretty-much one in the same?
Today, Betsy had a link to another web article on 4 Ways to Quiet the Negative Voice Inside Our Head“. I believe that EVERYONE, I don’t care who you are, Oprah Winfrey, Donald Trump, Bill Gates, professional and Olympic athletes, top medical researchers, etc, ALL have negative voices inside their heads. What the “positive” people choose to do is tell that negative voice to be quiet and move forward with their lives AS IF everything will succeed. Is that having our heads in the sand? No, because we know everything will not go the way we planned; we will be defeated, tossed around, kicked, told we’re not good enough and “who do you think you are”. We will just keep plugging along when the people who choose to focus on the negative quit. We also don’t view a setback as a loss or defeat, we view it as a lesson to adjust our compass to maybe head in a different direction.
Trust me, I have my days where I feel like I’m banging my head against the wall, working my tail off getting nowhere, maybe even pushed backwards. Years ago, I would have been there with the Negative Nancy’s asking myself “why does this always happen to me?”. Today, I’ve changed how I look at things and instead ask myself “what lesson is there to be learned here?” One other difference between myself and the “too positives” is you won’t hear us complaining about the negative stuff that happens, looking for sympathy. I also truly believe that what you focus on grows, so if you look for sympathy, you will get more things that will require sympathy..
I urge you to give it a try for a month. Focus on the positive and no blaming (it’s my parents, job, partner, etc. fault), complaining (the weather, my job, my life, car, etc. sucks) or justifying (it’s because I grew up poor, with too much money, have a job I hate, live in a big city/small town/too rural/too urban, etc.). See how your life can change. Are you going to be perfect in your thoughts and actions. Heck no! Just don’t make that stop you from continuing. Get back on the horse and ride it until you fall off again. The more times you get back up, the longer the ride each time. Eventually, you won’t be falling off anymore. That folks, is called empowering yourself.